“Curious Retirement”

Dear friends,

 I haven’t posted for months—I’ve been going through the process of “retiring”, and it’s been involved, busy and draining. Yesterday was my final day as Pastor of First Congregational Church of Milton, UCC. It will take a while for all of this transitioning to sink in—for me, and for the people at the church. I just read this helpful blog from Rev. Steve Garnaas- Holmes, a Methodist pastor and colleague. Good advice:

    “United Methodist clergy appointments usually begin July 1, so this Sunday a lot of people will be hearing from a new preacher. Some folks are retiring, with varying degrees of regret or anticipation. In a couple of months students will enter a new world at college.

   When we face a new situation our temptation is often to ask, “What do I like?” Do I like this new pastor? Do I like preaching to these people? Do I like this set-up?

  

 Sometimes that’s a helpful question to ask. But it’s always good to ask, ”What can I learn?” From this new pastor, in this new life situation, on this new day—what can I learn? In this moment, like it or not, life is giving me the opportunity to learn more about the universe and about myself, and more of God. I am being given the chance to grow, to deepen my practice of forgiveness…, or attentiveness, gratitude, litheness or compassion. Everything is a teaching, a chance to learn and practice. It’s a gift. But only if I stay open and curious. (My favorite part:) Even if it’s a rotten situation, nine times out of ten curiosity beats misery. Compassion always covers the rest. 

Stay curious.” 
 

 Your fellow traveler,

Jeff

“I See You”

Hi, friends,

I was visiting with a friend who had welcomed two very enthusiastic little dogs into her family after they were weaned. It took a while for them to calm down after my arrival so that the two of us could hear each other. They were part of a litter of 6 or 7, and when she visited the breeder her intention was to come home with one. “How did you wind up with two?” “Well, they sort of chose me.” It appears that they chose well.

If you haven’t seen “Born to Be Wild” on IMAX, I encourage you to do so. Two women, independent of each other, set up wilderness refuges for orphaned elephants(Kenya) and orangutans(Borneo). That was over 50 years ago!!

Regarding the elephants, the human caretakers feed them, play with them, comfort them, and even sleep in the same pen with them until they feel more secure. The “elephant” woman was asked, “How do you select your caregivers?” And she quickly replied, “We don’t—the elephants choose them. They know the ones who love them.” If baby elephants, orangutans, and puppies can read us, just imagine how other people can pick up “our vibes”? Yes, we are much more than the persona we seek to project.

Lent is the season when we focus on digging into our inner lives—but not as a self serving exercise. The ancient wisdom knows that when we spend more time in prayer, meditation, and expanding our sense of “soul”, a strange thing happens. More of the compassion we all have inside of us finds a way to leak through. You might not notice it right away, but those closest to you will…beginning with baby elephants, orangutans and puppy-dogs.

Your fellow traveler,
Jeff

“A Stranger–and Finding My Way”

Hi friends,

I needed some fresh muffins for Sunday morning, and so drove to the nearest Dunkin Donuts, over in Dorchester. The early morning air was brisk—I was happy to get inside the small facility. People seldom sit and hang out there—but they do a lively take-out business.

As I walked in, I noticed a man sitting at one of the tables, looking straight at me. I nodded, smiled and said “Good morning,”, but he looked right through me and offered no sign of acknowledgement. I guess I’m still a country boy at heart, and have to remind myself that the rules are often different in the city. I just wish that they weren’t.

When it was my turn to order, I heard a voice over my left shoulder ask, “Is there room at the counter for me?” I turned, and there was the same man who had ignored me. Then I saw the white red-tipped walking stick—he was blind. He asked the server to put the cup of hot coffee into a bag, after which he paid, and then turned to make his way to leave. I watched closely as he carefully but confidently found his way, opened the door, walked down the cracked steps, and while holding his cane and bag managed to pull his hood up over his head. And I wondered why he went to all of this bother for a single cup of coffee? Then he walked down the sidewalk as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

And I found myself praying, “O Lord please give me the same dignity, grace and courage to deal with my own blindness.”

Your fellow traveler,
Jeff

“Our Ancestors Weren’t So Dumb”

Dear friends,

Did you know that today is Shrove Tuesday?? Probably not.(It’s the day before Ash Wednesday, when the faithful were called to confess their sins in preparation for the sacred season of Lent.) But did you know that tonight is Mardi Gras(Fat Tuesday), the night when hearts turn so fondly to New Orleans for a little mid-winter cheer? Much more likely.

The season of Lent has been steadily falling out of fashion for quite some time. For the vast majority, the prevailing attitude seems to be: “Who needs this archaic solemn season of making sacrifices, like giving up chocolate?” Rev. Steve Garnaas Holmes with tongue in cheek offers a new approach:

“OK…Spend this whole day being selfish.
Get God out of your mind…
No holiness, no transcendence, no courageous love.
Just … self-indulgence…Flaunt your depravity,
lose yourself in all that’s shallow and flimsy.”

This felt all too familiar. Who needs to be encouraged to act like this? It’s already pervasive! Our culture has taken All Saints Day, and given us Halloween. Shrove Tuesday has been supplanted by Mardi Gras. And Christmas has been overwhelmed by so much purchasing power that our local economies literally depend up on it.

Our culture needs the Church now more than ever, precisely because the culture doesn’t think so! If your loved one is dying, if your health has received a jolt, if you are concerned about the frightening developments in the Ukraine, to whom are you going to turn? Mardi Gras excesses just won’t do it.

Return to the ancient wisdom. Pray for your own healing, and that of others. Trust in the God who has created you as an expression of Divine Love.(and everyone else, too!) Revisit the teachings of Jesus: Let your Light shine, walk the extra mile, humble yourself, be a servant of all. The culture won’t tell you that. But the Church must.

Your fellow traveler,
Jeff

“Love Is Stronger Than Death”

Hi, friends,

I’m leading a Death and Dying Seminar in the public library to emphasize that the invitation is town-wide. I realized that the subject touched a nerve when 25 people signed up! Grief isn’t meant to be suffered in silence.

I find myself noticing stories and articles, and filing several away. Here’s one of my favorites:

Tony Campolo tells how he got a phone call one night at 10 p.m. A woman he didn’t know introduced herself, and then asked a heavy theological question. “Are we judged by God individually when we die? Or are we all judged together at the end of time?”

Tony was tired, but he spent a half hour explaining the complexities of this to her. The answer, from Biblical tradition, is that we are all judged at once. Then he asked her why she was calling so late with such a heavy question.

“Three weeks ago, my gay son committed suicide. And I wanted to know if I would be there beside him when he is judged by God so I could tell God what a wonderful person he was.” Suddenly Tony didn’t feel tired anymore. And he found words that sounded a lot like those of Jesus echoing in his heart and mind:

“O woman, great is your faith…great is your love.” And so he posted this to whoever might read it, in hopes that they may love as she has.

Your fellow traveler,
Jeff

“Gays and the Weather”

A guest posting from one of my favorite writers:

“Do Gay People Control the Weather?” (1/11/13, God is Still Speaking) –Rev. Lillian Daniel

“How very good and pleasant it is when kindred live together in unity!” – Psalm 133:1

Whenever there is extreme weather, some weird religious leader gets airtime for blaming someone for it. Whether it’s a tsunami, an earthquake, a heat wave or a drought, someone will say it’s God’s way of getting our attention and therefore it has to be someone’s fault. 

When Disneyworld introduced “gay days,” Pat Robertson ominously reminded the people of Orlando that they were in a hurricane zone, and speculated “It’ll bring about terrorist bombs; it’ll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor.”

This weekend, as the Gay Christian Network meets for their annual conference in Chicago, record-breaking below-freezing temperatures have almost shut down the city. So I decided to stop by the GCN conference in person to see if any of the gay people there were controlling our weather.

As part of my investigation, I attended the opening ceremonies and here is my report. United Church of Christ power preacher Christine Wiley got us fired up for the theology of Howard Thurman. GCN founder Justin Lee warmed the room with a hilarious welcome speech on how to survive the cold, complete with power point pictures of chic winter wear. After a warm hug from Justin, and warm smiles from new friends, I felt the frostiness of the last week falling away.

So here’s a big thank you to the Gay Christian Network for creating a little warmth in the windy city. Turns out you control the weather, after all. Who knew?

Prayer: 
Warm our hearts with love and gratitude. Amen.

 

Your fellow traveler,

Jeff

“Talent…Then The Hard Work”

Hi, friends,

At one time I figured that Ansel Adams must have been the luckiest man alive. Imagine, coming across all of those beautiful scenes—and he just happened to have his camera with him!! I was stunned when I learned of all of the work that was required. The long treks he made into the wilderness looking for the perfect compositions, and then calculating when the light and the shadows would be just right—and the hours of waiting. The frigid mornings, the burning afternoon sun, the bugs and other critters, the stumbles, mistakes, and just plain bad luck. He was very talented—and he also worked VERY hard.

Then I came across this article by the Rev. Dr. Bill Mitcham, in which he tells the story of nine married couples from the same Lutheran Church in S. Carolina who went on a marriage enrichment weekend under his leadership in 1987—and all nine of them are still together. What good fortune, right? Guess again.

When asked about the reasons for their long and happy marriages, they had no mysterious secrets. Here are their top 5 behaviors:

1. Couples who feel positive about their relationship to God and
support each other in each other’s faith journey.
2. Couples who genuinely care about each other and appreciate each other by regularly affirming one another with words and deeds of kindness.
3. Couples who are able to discuss any concern or subject without fear of destroying their relationship.
4. Couples who share their real feelings with each other, including being vulnerable.
5. Couples who make their marriage relationship a priority over
relationships with their family of origin.
(And, a good sense of humor is an essential asset throughout.)

Not all marriages are made in heaven. But if you think that yours is, then, like good photographers, you have to do your own maintenance.

Your fellow traveler,
Jeff

“Who’s Teaching Whom?”

Hi, friends,

I was 13 when the Cuban Missile Crisis erupted…14 when Martin Luther King gave his “I have a dream” speech and when President John F. Kennedy was assassinated…and 15 when the Gulf of Tonkin resolution passed through Congress(marking the escalation of our country’s involvement in Viet Nam.) I had been accustomed to the relative tranquility of the 1950’s and early 60’s, and then entered one of the most tumultuous decades of American history. All of the rules seemed to be changing. What were we becoming? I didn’t have a clue. The decades have helped me get my perspective organized.

Each year the students in Milton are invited to write essays and submit art-work, revealing their thoughts and impressions about Dr. King. Some excerpts from some Middle High students in our church:

“He organized sit-ins and in the government there were cave-ins….He changed the world, which was an amazing feat, and I think that’s pretty neat.” –Andrew and Larry

“He helped those lost in the darkness find a light to guide them…Our King fought with his words, not fists, and believed that one day little boys and little girls of any color would be able to join hands.” –Avery and Caroline

“Praise the brave, the teacher; our hero. Ode to those who stand their ground…knowing the danger. Ode to the thanker, the forgiver. After all this you stand. Thank you.” –John

I am grateful for and moved by these heartfelt words(and more than a little humbled). They HAVE a clue! May their work impact them as citizens and in their understanding of themselves as children of God. And may their messages be hardwired into our heads and hearts—because we still have a long way to go, and we cannot afford to forget. Sometimes the young need to lead the rest of us.

Your fellow traveler,
Jeff

“Tough Cookies”

Hi, friends,

From Nicholas Kristof, “We Are All Nuns”, published in the New York Times on April 28, 2012:

“(Nuns) were the first feminists, earning Ph.D.’s or working as surgeons long before it was fashionable for women to hold jobs. As managers of hospitals, schools and complex bureaucracies, they were the first female C.E.O.’s.

They are also among the bravest, toughest and most admirable people in the world. In my travels, I’ve seen heroic nuns defy warlords, pimps and bandits. Even as bishops have disgraced the church by covering up the rape of children, nuns have redeemed it with their humble work on behalf of the neediest…

The sisters may be saintly, but they’re also crafty. Elias Chacour, a prominent Palestinian archbishop in the Melkite Greek Catholic Church, recounts in a memoir that he once asked a convent if it could supply two nuns for a community literacy project. The mother superior said she would have to check with her bishop. “The bishop was very clear in his refusal to allow two nuns,” the mother superior told him later. “I cannot disobey him in that.” She added: “I will send you three nuns!”

If you have followed my blog for a while, you will know that I am a great admirer of many nuns who have graced my life. This is a story of defiance that makes us smile, but other nuns have been severely punished for defying the authority of the Church as they followed their common conscience.

A suggested New Year’s resolution—check out online some stories about the kind of work that nuns are doing. And may they inspire us to do likewise. In a world of compromise and paying lip-service, they take stands that consistently seek to embody compassion. Their message tends to be found not in their words but their footprints.

Your fellow traveler,
Jeff

“So How Was YOUR New Year’s Eve?”

Hi, friends,

I don’t know how many of you made it into First Night in Boston on New Year’s Eve—the bitter cold put a damper on a really well-conceived event.

But I know of two groups that didn’t attend, but needed no help in order to celebrate. I noticed that the lights were on in the building Tuesday evening, and at first I figured that someone forgot. But before I meandered over, I remembered.

The Parlor was filled with the Narcotics Anonymous group. They need each other’s love and support in their struggle to stay clean. Tuesday is their night, and they wouldn’t choose to be ANYWHERE else on New Year’s Eve. They want 2014 to be happy and healthy, because they have lived through the alternative.

Later, Ann and I heard joyous sounds drifting across from the sanctuary. Our Haitian Baptist friends were ringing in the new year—by worshiping together with lots of enthusiasm well past midnight.

One group, searching their souls quietly in a private room, sharing their personal stories of struggle and victory and experiencing the support that they so clearly need; another making the windows vibrate for all to hear, because God has blessed them with the gifts of faith, love, and… time. And they are so grateful. Both celebrating the new year in the best way that they know how. Their reminders are just the signs of hope I needed, of lights shining in the darkness, and not by mistake.

Your fellow traveler,
Jeff